He found that in each area, the people are living in a similar way and that in Japan they had a name for it. Ikigai. “Iki” translates as life and “gai” translates as worth or value, so Ikigai is all about finding joy in life through purpose. It is what gets us out of bed each morning.
Discovering our own Ikigai is said to bring fulfillness, happiness and help us live longer. Beuttner suggests, when looking to find our “reason for being”, to make three lists.
A list of our values, a list of what we like to do a list of what we feel we are good at.
He says that where there is a cross section of the three lists, that this is where our Ikigai can be found.
Most foster carers come to fostering, driven by their desire to do something good, combined with their love of children and wanting to help them. People who consider fostering are driven by a sense of purpose to do good things are wanting to make a real difference to a child. Lots of foster carers, have previous experience of parenting, or working with children, but not all foster carers have this experience, it doesn’t deter them from being successfully driven by their need to support children.
We recently asked our foster carers why they foster. Several said they wanted to do something more worthwhile in their lives, others that they had found themselves at a crossroads in their life, or wanted to do something positive for their family that enabled them to be flexible for their own children or grandchildren.
Speaking recently with people applying to foster with us, their reasons to foster were very similar and they had been thinking about it for quite a while, (often years). When talking with people and sharing more information, we can identify transferrable skills and experience that will help them to be a successful foster carer.
Most people come to fostering with curiosity, of how it might work alongside the needs of their family and wanting to learn more about the care system and how they can be matched with children needing a home. People considering fostering often share a set of values seen in foster carers that drives their motivation for wanting to become a successful foster carer.
Ikigai fits well when looking at fostering through a purposeful lens. Foster carers are passionate, what they seem to love most is their family and they have a natural instinct for raising and doing great things for children. Some don’t have children of their own, but have either worked with children and young people or have been heavily involved in the lives of their nieces or nephews. People interested in fostering, appreciate the need for more foster carers to support the increasing numbers of children coming into care. They see it as part of their mission to make a difference and help children change their futures, regardless of their challenging start in life.
Their vocation is linked to what they are good at. They have recognised that they can connect with children by being curious and playful. They feel that fostering is a professional role and that by being paid to do what they love, enabling children to achieve their true potential in life, they can make adjustments to their lives.
One of our foster carers commented recently that his profession is fostering but his day-to-day job is his safety net should he be unable to foster at any point. Another of our experienced foster carers, advised our new foster carers in assessment, of the need to be prepared for the feelings of love that they would develop for the children they would care for in the future. Both carers advocate so well for the children in their care, as much as they would for their own children. What is striking is that these people are challenged, as fostering can be very challenging, but they feel fulfilled and successful in their role. They have subsequently changed their own lives, as well as the lives of the children in their care. One foster carer has said that they had thought of fostering for a few years before doing anything about it and now wish they had done it so much sooner.
10 rules of Ikigai
In their book ‘Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life’ co-author, Francesc Miralles states that there are 10 rules that we should all follow, in order to live a long happy life.
10 rules of Ikigai
In their book ‘Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life’ co-author, Francesc Miralles states that there are 10 rules that we should all follow, in order to live a long happy life.
1. Stay active (don’t retire)
2. Take it slow
3. Only eat until you are 80% full
4. Surround yourself with good friends
5. Get in shape for your next birthday
6. Smile
7. Reconnect with nature
8. Give thanks
9. Live in the moment
10. Follow your Ikigai
Conclusion
When Alison and I founded To the Moon and Back Foster Care, our sense of purpose was linked intrinsically to our values and ethics. Having worked in fostering for many years, we felt that we could achieve so much more for children and young people by concentrating on building trusting relationships and ensuring that our foster carers felt safe and secure. We set out to be a secure base for them, enabling them to be a secure base for the children in their care. Although Alison and I didn’t realise it at the time, we were already pursuing our own Ikigai.
Our ethos as a trauma-informed organisation recognises that at some point in our lives, we all experience trauma and that we all benefit from the same kindness and support, that we offer children in our care.
We provide support that considers health and wellbeing and works to ensure that we take steps to care for ourselves. We have responded to many challenges over the last few years, including a pandemic, and we saw people reflecting on what we have learned about what we need for our own happiness and contentment. Children benefit from the foster carers experience of life, both the highs and the lows. We thank our foster carers for providing our remarkable children with the love they need to succeed in life regardless of their start in life and we wish everyone a safe and healthy 2025.
